The Joke Lab 9

A Marketing Moral

An old man, a boy and a donkey were going to town. The boy rode on the donkey and the old man walked. 

As they went along they passed some people who remarked it was a shame the old man was walking and the boy was riding. The man and boy thought maybe the critics were right, so they changed positions.

Later, they passed some people that remarked, "What a shame, he makes that little boy walk." They then decided they both would walk!

Soon they passed some more people who thought they were stupid to walk when they had a decent donkey to ride. So, they both rode the donkey. 

Now they passed some people that shamed them by saying how awful to put such a load on a poor donkey. The boy and man said they were probably right, so they decided to carry the donkey. As they crossed the bridge, they lost their grip on the animal and he fell into the river and drowned. 

The moral of the story? In Marketing, if you try to please everyone, you might as well... 

Kiss your ass good-bye.

Brought to you by the Makers for effective marketing. Corporate Talk.

The Joke Lab 8

Good PR!

Moses and his flock arrive at the sea, with the Egyptians in hot pursuit.

Not knowing how to proceed, Moses calls a staff meeting.

"Well, how are we going to get across the sea?" Moses asks. "We need a fast solution. The Egyptians are close behind us."

"Normally, I'd recommend that we build a pontoon bridge to carry us across," the General of the Armies says, "but there's not enough time - the Egyptians are too close."

"Normally, I'd recommend that we build barges to carry us across," the Admiral of the Navy says, "but time is too short."

"Does anyone have a solution?" Moses asks.

Just then, his Public Relations man raises his hand.

"You!" Moses says, "You have a solution?"

"No," the PR man says, "but I can promise you this: If you can find a way out of this one, I can get you two or three full pages in the Old Testament..."

Brought to you by Corporate Talk PR. 

The Joke Lab 7

The Top 10 Signs You Work In Marketing

10. You lecture the kids selling cashu nuts on ways to improve their point of sale ratio.

9. You get all excited when it's Saturday so you can wear casual clothes to work.

8. You refer to the tomatoes grown in your shamba as "deliverables."

7. You find you really need PowerPoint to explain what you do for a living.

6. You normally eat out of Kenchics and at the most expensive chinese restaurant in town within the same week.

5. You wear black to work instead of navy blue to make a bold fashion statement.

4. You know the people at the airport and hotel better than your next door neighbors.

3. You ask your friends to "think out of the box" when making Friday night plans.

2. You think Einstein would have been more effective had he put his ideas into a matrix.

1. You think a "half-day" means leaving work at 5 o'clock.

Brought to you by Corporate Talk.

The Joke Lab 6

Apple Marketing

A young man asked an old rich man how he made his money.

The old guy fingered his expensive wool vest and said, "Well, son, it was 1932. The depth of the Great Depression. I was down to my last nickel. Marketing was the key to my success."

"I invested that nickel in an apple. I spent the entire day polishing the apple and, at the end of the day, I sold the apple for ten cents."

"The next morning, I invested those ten cents in two apples. I spent the entire day polishing them and sold them at 5:00 pm for 20 cents. I continued this system for a month, by the end of which I'd accumulated a fortune of $9.80."

"Then my wife's father died and left us two million dollars."

HAPPY DAY!!!

 

For those of you that fell for it!

Regards the Team!

We invite you to Lunch.

 

Please give us a call. 

We are looking forward to hearing from you.